What Meditation Actually Is (And How I Do It)

A yoga teacher told me something a few years ago that completely changed how I thought about meditation. 

I had always assumed it was some kind of deep trance state, something I was clearly incapable of reaching because my mind never, ever stops. 

What she said was much simpler than that, and also reassuring.

Meditation is just the moments when you are not in your own head. One breath, ten seconds, a minute where you are not spiralling, not running through your to-do list, just quietly present. That's it.

No fancy magic carpet ride, or alternate plane.

Just a quiet mind.

I've held onto that definition ever since, because it makes meditation feel possible rather than aspirational.

 

 

Why I struggled with it, and what helped

I have ADHD, so switching off is genuinely difficult for me. Sitting in silence and expecting my brain to go quiet has never worked. 

What does work is guided meditation, and it has been a bit of a turning point. Even now, at the start of a session, I'm still thinking about the day, still composing mental emails, still noticing all the noise around me. But I've learned to trust the process, especially when it includes music tuned to certain frequencies, or the sound of singing bowls. Something in that sound tells my nervous system that it's time to settle, and by the end I almost always feel clearer than when I started.

Over time, the association builds. There's one guided meditation I've listened to hundreds of times, and now as soon as I hear the opening chime, my brain starts to slow down. 

It's a bit like Pavlov's dog, but in the best possible way!

I really notice the difference when I skip it for more than a week. My stress levels creep up, my sleep gets patchier, and I feel that slightly frantic undercurrent of anxiety that I know well. Regular meditation doesn't eliminate that, but it takes the edge off in a way that not much else does.

 

 

How I actually set up for it

My version of a meditation practice is pretty low-key - although my partner may say otherwise!

I have an acupressure mat (sometimes called a Shakti mat) and a small acupressure pillow, and I'll lay them out on a rug or yoga mat, outside if the weather allows.

Then I take a small amount of the Magic 9 Balm, warm it between my palms, breathe it in slowly, and massage it across my forehead and temples. The peppermint and lavender together do something that feels both clearing and calming, and it's become a signal to my body that it is time to relax, and let go.

My phone goes on airplane mode, headphones in, and I press play on whichever guided meditation I'm using that day. If the first five minutes feel restless, I just stay with it. That restlessness almost always passes.

I find this particularly useful before anything that makes me anxious: a difficult conversation, a meeting I'm nervous about, a day that feels like too much before it's even begun. Ten minutes of guided meditation won't fix everything, but it genuinely does recalibrate something.

I also keep it as a tool for nights when sleep won't come, and lying in the dark with a gentle guided voice is often enough to stop my mind racing long enough to drift off.